Chapter 47: Secret

Perhaps due to the prepared hot water for bathing even at midnight, the dressing room did not get cold and the air was warm and moist. Water drops coming from her wet hair flows to her white elbow and drips to her feet.

“…Uh, the spirit of the air, Earia… in response to my voice…..uh”

“W-Wait… I don’t know what you’re trying to do, but calm d….”

Don’t tell me… To me who saw her secret, she wants to use her power? ―With her towel covering the front of her body, she –Leslie heads on to shorten our distance and come closer in front of me.This is translated by Yume Neiji (yumeineijiworks.wordpress.com)

“Kuu…!”

I don’t know what to say and I can’t fight back either. The wooden drain board spreading on my feet serve as a cushion to my fall –Even so, my shock did not disappear at all, I hold my breath as I was pushed down.

“…Earia…to my body…. the air… uh…create a hazy vision instead…”

“…I see. Air spirit…..I didn’t see it at the Academy, but you used it don’t you?”

I spoke while looking up at Leslie straddled on top of me as she pressed my shoulders. ―She was just looking at me with wet hair on her face, her eyes displayed trepidation and she could no longer continue to chant her spell.

Even the towel that hides her body has already flown somewhere…. I have never seen her lose her composure to this extent. Up until now, it never happened before.

“It’s quite an amazing magic… I thought you are completely a man, that you are a different person. To change the impression of your voice, isn’t it difficult for the air spirit?”

I’m not familiar with anything other than my own specialty but voice occurs when the vibrations of the human vocal cords are transmitted to the air and become sounds. It is not strange for Leslie to be able to contract and interfere with the air spirits and change her voice. Even so, there was a limit as the pitch of the voice could not be lowered.

“…Why didn’t you come back a little later…?”

“I’m sorry. But Leslie, I left the sanitary building while you were sleeping and until I returned from Her Highness residence, it should have been quite a while…”

“Even so….a little more and….just a little…if you are just a little bit slower…”

“…..If that was the case, I’ll be left unaware of this for quite some time. But I will eventually notice it. I’ll realize it no matter how stupid I had been for not realizing anything until now.”

The force of the Leslie’s hand holding me down loosened up. She pulled her hand and tears spilled from her eyes.

“…Grass-nii…is not stupid… As it was the instruction from the Academy, I know I should absolutely obey… The headmaster also said so. That’s why as instructed to me… before Grass-nii goes…”

“So…. you consulted my stepsister of a way for you to go with me, right? Why did you do that? It’s not like I’ll never see you again.”

“…When you go to a battlefield, you won’t know what will happen… Just like today, many people died… If that happens to Grass-nii…. We’ll never again…”

She thought we could no longer meet. She speaks up until there and Leslie begins to cry without raising her voice.

She is always calm so I can’t grasp her entirely. She had better grades than me, but she similarly pulled a flop spirit and was alienated by the people around her —it’s not like we are licking each other’s wound. But for sure Leslie and Sven are people I can rely on.

―Those chosen by the flop spirits were unlucky since their birth.

―Hey, that person is taking care of the trees again. I wish he would just quit school and became a gardener.

―Grass Weed. Instead of being a magician, think about helping your father’s work. If there’s an opening for clerks at the Imperial House, I can write a letter of introduction for you.

If I didn’t enter the Academy to become a magician, I might have chosen my way of living like they have said. But since I entered the Magic Academy, I couldn’t give up my dream.

At first, as I was scorned and every time I was alienated, one of my emotions that would like to curse the world welled up. Because of my friends, I was able to endure being treated as a flop.This is translated by Yume Neiji (yumeineijiworks.wordpress.com)

Even when my contracted spirit was denied and even if I was forced to fall into an existence who is just breathing in the academy, I could not give up.

I wasn’t afraid to die.

When you think that no one needs you and when you lost your dream, you will easily despair. If you look into the world with cold eyes, even to yourself or to others, only words that would make you down comes to mind.

It’s worse to stop and live in the bottom of the mud than to die.

I waited for Leslie who is still crying to calm down and look at me. Eventually, her moistened eyes shifted towards me. I remember when I first met Leslie. At that time, she looked at me like that, with a look of trepidation she still asked for something.

“…I had a dream.”

“…Dream… Didn’t you say you wanted to be a court magician…?”

“There’s that too. But before that… I wanted to be someone great as a magician, it’s a vague dream.”This is translated by Yume Neiji (yumeineijiworks.wordpress.com)

Leslie doesn’t know what I want to say yet. However, her breathing gradually calms down as she seemed to be interested in it.

“….The knights who died today and those who died for the country so far…. Even if they had dreams of their own, they chose to protect the country before their own dream come true. But if they were able to survive…they would have been chasing that dream again.”

I was appointed as a military doctor of a fortress in the frontline. I accepted it firstly because I want to secure my seat as a court magician. I thought that a military doctor’s job was just for that…

Now it’s different. Coming to this fortress as a military doctor fulfilled one of my dreams. And it mustn’t end there –I can’t help but think of this kind of thing.

“I will watch until the end of this battle. I want to find what I can do until we no longer have to fight one day. I’ll also be glad to live in peace where there is no fear of death. I will look forward into the future where Leslie will marry one day. I don’t want to live and die without doing what I can, rather than that, I should do what I can here even if I don’t know when I’ll die.”This is translated by Yume Neiji (yumeineijiworks.wordpress.com)

“…Grass-nii… You knew about the matter in my house…?”

“…I don’t know everything. But…I know that you have the Duke’s bloodline. I’m sorry that I’ve kept my silence all this time. I’m not qualified to get angry at you for following me since I was lying even worse than you.”

When I told her the truth, I thought that I would lose everything or that my sin might never be forgiven.This is translated by Yume Neiji (yumeineijiworks.wordpress.com)

“…Such thing…..It’s not a lie. Grass-nii didn’t say anything for my sake. As for me, I was only thinking of myself… Even now, I-I just want to keep protecting my lies…”

“…Then, aren’t we the same? Maybe we were just thinking too much about it…”

At first, Leslie looked surprised.Translated by Yume Neiji

But maybe the meaning of “the same” comes through as she smiles broadly, it’s been a while since she smiled like that.

I can’t say anything to that smiling expression of hers. It was me who made her think so far ahead –the matter of me dying in the front line, she was much more scared of it than I am.

Such sentiment from her is just so warm. I am truly grateful but I wonder what I did to deserve it.

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